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Pokušavam da zaboravim, svakog dana se trudim da ne mislim na tebe… bez uspeha.
Ali ne ide… teško je ne sećati se tako plavih očiju, očiju koje su me gledale sa toliko ljubavi i želje. Kako zaboraviti ruke koje su me digle tako visoko, usne koje su me ljubile sa toliko nežnosti. Jednostavno ja to ne umem ili ne znam…ili kad malo bolje zavirim u svoju dušu moguće je da ja to i ne želim.

Sve je počelo negde u rano proleće prošle godine, slučajno..tako valjda i sve najveće ljubavi počinju, sasvim slučajno.
Ja sam bila u dugoj vezi od preko deset godina, sa osobom koja nije ni nalik onome što želim od jednog muškarca.Ali godine i navika valjda učine svoje i ja sam se nekako pomirila sa tim,pomirila sa onim što sam imala.

Zakazali smo i svadbu, 10.avgusta 2013.godine… zasto? Pa, to se valjda očekivalo od nas, nije se imalo više kuda. Nije se moglo vise opstati u nekoj vezi koja ne vodi nigde, bilo je ili kraj ili svadba, pa sta nam Bog da.
I kao što rekoh, kad se najmanje nadaš desi se nešto, odnosno neko..

 U trenucima dosade lutajući po mnogobrojnim sajtovima po netu započela sam priču sa jednim muskarcem. Neobavezno,opusteno.. čisto ubijanje vremena.

On je bio stariji od mene 5 godina, razveden, imao je sina od 13 godina koji je živeo sa njim. Bio je nekako ogorčen na ženski rod. Dalo se primetiti kroz nas početni razgovor da žene posmatra iskljucivo kao seksualni objekat.Tražio je trenutno zadovoljstvo, nešto brzo i kratko. Nešto neobavezno.

Živeo je u gradu na nekih 150 km od moga, ni dovoljno blizu a ni dovoljno daleko ako poželiš nešto više.
Posle nekih desetak dana naših učestalih razgovora ja sam se usudila pitati da li ima skype i kameru, želela sam da ga vidim konačno. Pristao je istog momenta.
Tad smo se videli prvi put, nikad neću zaboraviti njegov iznenadjen izraz lica kad me je video, kao da je očekivao nešto drugo.
Svideo mi se, nije bio lep..već muškarac u pravom smislu te reči, krupan, jak,markantan, ono što sam oduvek volela da poseduje muško. Od tada počinje naše neprestano druženje, samo sad se nije svodilo samo na priču,već smo mogli i da se gledamo.

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Nije se moglo vise opstati u nekoj vezi kojaer ner vodi nigde, bilo je ili kraj ili svadba, pa sta nam Bog da.

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Živeo je u gradu na nekih 150 km od moga, ni dovoljno blizu a ni dovoljno daleko ako poželiš nešto više.